


The Brightest Star Shines Through The Dark

by alex4968



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2018-12-30 00:40:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12096942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alex4968/pseuds/alex4968
Summary: Harry and Louis build their life together from the beginning - but even losing everything can't tear them apart.





	The Brightest Star Shines Through The Dark

**Author's Note:**

  * For [casuallyhl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/casuallyhl/gifts).



> Hello everyone!  
> First of all, I'd like to give a massive thank you to the admins of this challenge for being so sympathetic towards me and giving my an extension. I lost almost all of this work when my computer crashed so my blood sweat and tears went into this twice. But that actually turned out to be for the better because I like this version a lot more. I'd also like to give a super big thank you to my lovely friend Jordan for making the super awesome edit at the beginning because that is my favorite thing ever right now.  
> If you can't tell when you're reading this work at all, I'm really into the theme of human microcosm and exploring that in works as well as the symbolism of stars because I'm pretty basic.

****

 

**PART ONE**

Nothing can ever happen twice.

In consequence, the sorry fact is

that we arrive here improvised

and leave without the chance to practice...

No day copies yesterday,

no two nights will teach what bliss is

in precisely the same way,

with exactly the same kisses.

~Wisława Szymborska, "Nothing Twice," Calling Out to Yeti

1665

The steady beat of the trot of horses floats through the chilled December air, giving life to the otherwise silent city. His hair flies back in the wind as he comes to a stop and looks around to the buildings around him. Windows are dark aside from a glow of a lantern illuminating the glass of his own home. London comes to life in the day, patrons going through their daily duties, wives catering children about, husbands making their commute to and from work. Yet the vibrancy of their lives gives way each night to the silence that comes with the moon hung high in the sky.

Beneath him, Harry’s horse makes a noise of distaste, the length of their journey getting to her just as terribly as himself. He slings a leg to the side and lets his feet drop to the ground, the soles of his boots catching the impact.

Slowly, he walks the horse to the stables attached at the back of the house. The darkness grows thicker as the light from the moon, full and bright above him, is blocked from the houses near.

Soft flames from lanterns hung along the wooden frame of the stables give the only light along his path as he walks the horse, and her noises of protest come to an end as soon as she’s behind the low wooden gates and placed in front of her box of feed. Three other horses are in the stables as well, all the same yet so different from the last time he saw them. He stands there a moment and runs his fingers through the thick fur of his horses’ mane, allowing himself only a few short moments of the peace surrounding him before he turns on his heel and moves to enter the home.

His valet, Liam, follows closely behind him after he’s put his own horse into the stables as well. Liam had been employed by Harry’s father as Harry’s personal hand when both of them were only fifteen, which had always made it strange for him to consider Liam as an employee rather than just as a friend, but Liam rarely strayed from their professional appearances when they were in public. In their home, it often differed, but on the streets and around their families, it was a cold and often impersonal relationship.

The heels of their boots click against the wood of the floors inside the home, and as soon as their presence is made known to the maid, she scurries over. A fireplace inside is burning steadily, cracking and popping every few moments and filling the walls around the den with dancing shadows. Wooden furniture adorns the house and stone decorates the area near the fireplace, but even the most fine of furnishings that his father can afford can’t bring back the novelty of his childhood home.

The house looks as empty as it’s been in the years previous, since his family had fled the city to find refuge from the illness that had spread throughout much of their friends and colleagues. Liam closes the door behind him softly and the housemaid takes his coat from him and takes it to his bedroom. The wind blowing against the windows of the house creates a soft whistling noise that rids of the silence.

“Good evening Mr. Styles, Mr. Payne,” The maid – he thinks her name is Charlotte - says with a soft smile on her face. “Would you like me to make you some tea?” She’s the only servant he’s hired for himself here, since he’s set to live here with only Liam.

“Please,” He says softly. She nods curtly before she makes her way to the kitchen across the room. He and Liam sit on two chairs after a moment, still in front of the fireplace, and take a moment to rid of the wind-born chill in their fingertips. The two of them sit in silence for a moment as Harry just stares into the flickering of the fire before Liam speaks for the first time that night.

“Is it hard for you to come back here?” He asks softly, that look of concern that Liam often has painting his face all over again.

“Of course.” He says with a sigh. “But it’s still a home to me. It’s still my home.” Liam hums, the only acknowledgement that he spoke, but it’s enough. The two of them can sit in silence and nothing feels wrong about it – nothing feels awkward or strange between the two of them. The class difference between them has never been a bother to Harry, despite the ideas of his parents. Having been friends for nearly a decade, it all just works out in a way that Harry is beyond grateful for having been able to experience. Liam has always been his best friend.

When Charlotte returns a few minutes later with a tea kettle and two cups in her hand, she sets them on the table and pours the tea into both. “Charlotte, please sit. I’d like to discuss your work with you.” Her eyes widen a bit, a fear stricken expression taking over her face before she clears her throat quietly and sits.

“Of course, sir.” She says, her voice shaking just a bit, but it’s clear that she’s trying to conceal how she feels.

“No need to be afraid. You’ve not done anything wrong. I’m just wondering what your intentions are for when you’d like to work. I was not given much information about your work before I left.” A tradition passed down from his parents has always been how they treat their help – his father had always had that idea in his head of class separation, but it had never effected the way that he always had a mutual respect for each and every person employed for him. Harry always believed the same, always believed that despite the amount of money a person has when they return home, they are still just as deserving of his respect.

“Well, the arrangement I had was that I was set to be here from sunrise to when you retire to bed so I’m able to return home to my family. Is that still alright?”

“Yes, that’s fine. Are you going to be here daily?”

“Yes, sir. Every day at sunrise except Sundays as I’ll be late from church.” He nods his agreement and takes a drink of his tea.

“Thank you. Also, feel free to call me Harry. I’m not very fond of formalities.” A small smile plays at the corners of her lips as she nods. She leaves a few moments later, promising to return to the manor the following morning, but Harry lets himself take a moment to himself in the quiet.

Even after Liam retires to bed himself, Harry stays. The fire is ebbing to just the red of remaining coals, but he stays. Happy memories fill the walls of the house he once called home, but the abrupt end to all of those memories he’d been able to call his childhood still lingers in every thought. The building here that he once allowed himself to call home holds more nightmares within it than dreams, but he knows that eventually he’ll be able to bring happiness back to it.

⸎

“The people are much different from when we were here last.” Liam says, buttoning up the last button on Harry’s coat before smoothing out a wrinkle and stepping back so he can look at himself in the mirror. “It seems like they’ve not only healed physically, but emotionally as well. Everyone seemed much happier when I was out today.” The news makes Harry happier than he can truly describe. Knowing that everyone around them is healing as well, finding their solace as they rebuild from what they lost in the years previous, it makes everything so much easier to live with.

He clutches the golden locket around his neck, adorned with a cross, for just a moment and allows himself to have a moment to think about what he lost. Everything happens for a reason. He knows that everything is meant to be and he’s stronger now than he had been then, but losing Gemma still leaves an ache in his chest that he can’t explain.

“I think we are, too. We are all healing.” He says softly. There’s something cathartic about saying it aloud, about admitting that he’d been in so much pain. Even though it’s only Liam, he knows that having someone to confide in will help him more than anything else ever could.

Snow falls from the sky in thick bundles of heavy flakes, soft and white through the glass of his window. The winter this year has been colder than several of the last, but he finds himself not worrying as much about the cold as he has in previous years. Instead, he relishes in the beauty of the thin white layer covering the stone pathway leading to his home.

The moisture has caused the torches lighting the dimming sky to go out, but the light from the moon allows him to still relish in the beauty of the evening. 

 

1666

A thin layer of snow still coats the ground around the Styles manor, even as the sun reaches it’s peak in the sky. Harry’s coat is pulled tight around his waist as he rides his horse into the city centre in search of a groundskeeper to employ for the spring. Liam had been certain he’d be able to handle it, but as the weeds began to sprout through the layers of snow as winter ebbed, his confidence began to dwindle.

Land in London was sparse, but the amount he found himself in charge of maintaining was large enough that a single person would be unable to handle it, especially with other duties. A sachel around his shoulders holds ten fine, handwritten posters stating his request. He knew of many land owners that would spread the information of their request by mouth, but he preferred to have educated men under his hand.

His father had always been the same, but it made finding help a much more difficult task. Reading was a skill acquired by few children of poor families, and it was often only poor families that had children that desired high labour jobs. It had been a contradiction for most of his life, but something about it had always paid off in the end.

Christmas had come and gone in a blur of cold weather and little celebration within the home as he still found himself settling in and adjusting to living in the home. Liam had made the trip back to the outskirts of London to be with his own family while Harry had stayed in by himself. He’d prepared himself a decent meal and read letters sent from his mother, both old and new, and allowed himself to relish in some alone time.

The remnants of the holiday are still scattered about in some of the shops around the square, but it’s slowly being taken down. It’s been far too long since he’s been into town by himself, and he’s managed to forget exactly how nice it is to be able to enjoy the vibrancy of a city without anyone with him.

Voices fill the entire space, children run about, people talk with shop owners, and not a single person in the town square looks out of place. That, he thinks, is the real magic buried within a large city. Holmes Chapel had had it’s novelty; but, in the end, he knows he’ll always be a city kind of person. Living in small villages isn’t the type of life he ever intends to pursue.

He gets off his horse and ties the rope holding her to a mount before going the rest of the way into the shops. He takes the first piece of paper from his bag and nails it to a wooden post before making his way down the path, looking around at various things for sale.

The smell of something sweet floats through the air as he reaches his horse, his basket already filled with a few things from different shops he’s been to throughout his walk. He’d planned to end his journey here as places his basket inside of the bag tied to his horse and shuts it with an easy knot of the strings, but then he continues to walk.

It smells almost just like the cookies that his mother used to make in the mornings before the family would all leave their home for church together. He thinks that’s what might be drawing him in – the gentle familiarity floating through the air around him.

He remembers almost vividly taking strolls through this same courtyard with his mother when he was just a child. Everything now seems so different yet all the same. New buildings have been created in the few years he’s been gone, new people roam the streets, new stones line the path that once was more destroyed than it is now. A wave of nostalgia hits him all of a sudden in that moment, perfect images of his family as a whole unit hit him all at once and his heart feels heavy.

He decides to go and find the smell of the cookies that is making him remember so strongly, so he leaves the bag strapped to his horse to be carried home when he returns. His feet almost feel like they’re guiding him as he walks down the stone pathway of the street laid out beneath him. As he walks, the buildings around him show their age more and more, the weathered areas on the wood becoming more prominent as he makes his way into what is clearly the older part of town.

He can remember how many more people there had been during his childhood, how much more difficult it had been to navigate through the mass amount of people that would gather here at the town’s center.

Right in the center of the oldest part of town, he finds a small building with the word Bakery written in white paint on the outside. The door opens, letting a father and two daughters walk out right as he was about to walk in.

The inside is almost home-like, with warmth surrounding him despite the chill of the outside air, and what look to be homemade decorations adorn the walls. As soon as he approaches the counter, a shorter woman with long black hair approaches him. “Good evening, sir. What can I get for you?”

“A loaf of bread, please.” He says with a small smile. He knows he doesn’t need anything from the shop, but something almost felt like it was drawing him here, like he had to come even if just for a moment.

“Certainly. I’ll have that right out for you.”

Harry nods and takes a step away from the counter. In that moment, he decides to take a look around himself. There are three candles lighting the walls where the window doesn’t shine as brightly as it should. With the added light, he can see that the far wall is lined with wooden rolling pins hanging from rope. It’s a quirky decoration that he’s never seen before – and it makes the corners of his mouth turn up just slightly.

Before he takes his gaze away from the decoration around him, he feels a body slam into his and he falls down to the floor all too quickly for him to stop himself. A small child runs past the couple, laughing loudly before he circles back around and runs back into the kitchen. He blinks once, twice, before he turns to look at the person who knocked into him.  Harry assumes that he’d been chasing the child and trying to catch him, so he isn’t angry.

The first thing he notices is the brilliance of blue eyes – so captivating that for a moment he thinks won’t ever be able to look away. Sky blue eyes dusted with flakes of a darker shade matched with tanned skin and soft features all draw his attention away from the slight ache in his bum and to the man instead.

What looked to be ash was smudged along the side of his face, but the darkness of the smudge only seemed to illuminate the softness of his skin. A tint of pink is spread over the other man’s cheeks as he stumbles and gets himself up, clearly embarrassed, off the ground, then dusts off his clothing. Harry can’t help the easy grin that spreads across his face as he stands too, long limbs a mess as he pulls himself up from the ground, and adjusts his hat before raising it so-slightly as he bows his head to the man.

He stutters out an apology quickly, his words stumbling together, “My apologies, sir. I didn’t – I am so very sorry.” The man says before he looks to him and sees his gesture of greeting – and then the pink tint grows brighter as he returns the gesture with a nod of his head. It’s clear Harry isn’t angered by the situation, but he can still read the hesitancy on the other’s face that he wants to rid of as soon as he can.

“It’s not a problem at all.” Standing in front of the other, he can see that he stands about a head taller than him, but he’s built well. His arms are strong and his face has sharp lines that Harry knows he could look at for hours. “I’m Harry.” He says with another gentle smile. There’s hesitancy in the other man’s eyes, but he can understand why. It’s unusual between men of different status’ to have a conversation in public. Yet, Harry can’t seem to stop; nor does he want to stop. If he were to stop speaking with the beautiful man in front of him, he may never see him again and such a thing wouldn’t sit well with him at all.

“I am sorry but I need to get back to work.” The man says, but there’s the faintest trace of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. It’s enough – it’s enough to show Harry that the hesitancy is gone and instead replaced with some kind of curiosity that Harry can’t place a name to. The man – who Harry wants nothing more than to know his name –  places his right hand against his face gently, just for a moment, and it proves to Harry that the man isn’t put off by his conversation. It’s a gesture he’s seen only one other time – the very first time his younger sister was meeting a man who made her smile, and she explained later that it was her message that she wanted to see him again. It makes Harry’s heart skip a beat in his chest with the prospect of seeing him again.

The woman at the counter calls for him and it breaks the kind of trance that he’d been in for that moment. As he turns to her, the other man turns and walks to the kitchen. Watching him leave isn’t as easy as it should have been, but he takes his bread, perfectly wrapped in shiny brown paper and makes his way back down the path to his horse.

Walking inside, Liam is tending to a teapot dangling over the fire of the fireplace. The steam is coming through the spittle and creating a soft hissing noise. The sun is just barely still above the horizon, casting glows of orange and yellow throughout the sky that show in the reflections of his windowpanes. Orange glows cast along the whites of his walls and he takes a moment to appreciate the small thing that he hadn’t noticed in the nights previous when Liam interrupts his thought.

“You look pleased.” Is all he says. It’s true. Harry has had a smile on his face since he left the town square, but he hadn’t been aware that it was so obvious to those around him. Perhaps it’s just Liam’s keen perception – but he thinks he does look happier. He certainly feels it.

“I think I may have met someone.” He replies, shedding his coat and placing it on the hook inside of the closet nearest the door. It’s warm in the house, the winter-chill leaving his finger tips slowly even as he sheds his outer layer of clothes.

Liam’s eyebrows raise in surprise. He understands, really, Harry doesn’t think he’s ever mentioned interest in another person. He’s always been focused on studying, then focused on working, and now, he has nothing he can throw his entire mind into for distraction. It was bound to happen eventually.

“Who is it?”

“He works in the bakery in the town center.” He mentions, watching as his friend takes the kettle from the flames with the metal rod, then sets it on a cloth on the mantle. “He ran into me, knocked the both of us over, but all I could see was how beautiful he is. He might be the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, honest.” Liam seems to be taking a moment to process all of this, likely considering what he’s going to say, so Harry takes his sachel from his shoulder and takes the bread to the kitchen.

The other things he’d managed to pick up throughout the day are mostly trinkets, since Liam does most of the food shopping. He’s never had much of the ability to deny himself the things that he wants.

“Do you think you’ll pursue him?”

“If he allows me to, most certainly.”

“Despite the monetary – “

“Please don’t mention the class separation. I hear enough of that from Father; I do not see others as beautiful or kind of better simply for the amount they possess. I know there’s a difference; I do not care.”

“I support your decisions entirely as your employee, Harry. But as your friend, I hope you are able to say something similar to your father if that time ever comes around. I worry for your relationship with him.” Harry just sighs.

“Would you pour me some tea, please?” It’s a rather brash change of subject, but talking about his father has always managed to get Harry worked up. He’s not in the mindset to have his positive mood tarnished, so he decides to take the rest of the evening to tend to work.

The two days that follow are dreary and rainy. The sky in a constant state of overcast leaves Harry with an itch to go outside that he’s never understood why he gets when rain comes. He thinks it’s something to do with the idea that he shouldn’t be outside, but he wants to be anyway.

So on the afternoon of the second day, he finds himself in the stables.

“Sh, sh, it’s alright.” He says to the horse in front of him as he brushes her mane. Beneath the shelter of the stable, he can’t feel the rain that’s been pouring from the sky for the majority of the day, but he can feel the harsh whip of the wind against his face. It’s made the tip of his nose numb now, and he can feel the chill in his toes, but there are things that need to be done and he’s not the type to let them go unaccomplished.

The horse in front of him is crying out as he gets a knot out of her hair, and he keeps shushing and petting her as he pulls the comb through the coarse strands, but she doesn’t stop. He eventually gets all of the strands to go straight, getting any twists out, and then gives her an apple as her treat. “Don’t worry, girl, someone will be here to do this every day, soon. Then it won’t hurt anymore.”

He’s finally found someone who can manage the grounds, but he’d mentioned that he wouldn’t be able to begin until the week after. It’s not a horrible task, especially since he always has loved the two horses he’s had since he was a teenager, but there are moments he’d rather be elsewhere. Having the job position filled has brought him more relief than he can properly describe; the feeling of becoming settled in his new home washes over him in waves each time he can check another task from his list.

The new person – Niall, he believes his name is – will be staying in the guest house on the far end of his land, and Harry hopes with everything in him that he is a good enough worker to keep. He hates going through the process of finding someone new to work for him, simply because the prospect of finding someone he’ll have to see every day is something he’s rather picky about.

Liam always makes a joke of his process, of how long it takes him, but it’s never failed him, so he doesn’t mind going through it all. So long as he doesn’t have to do it repeatedly, anyway. The horse turns her face to him, and there’s a little sparkle in her eye that brings a smile to Harry’s face. He pets her again, and then gives her an apple just because he knows he can.

⸎

The familiar rolling pins on the wall comes into sight as he pushes the door to the bakery open once again. Sun beams shine brightly through the window, illuminating the shop in a way he hadn’t seen the previous time he’d been here, and it makes the place even more appealing.

It’s warmer outside today, the remaining drifts of snow melting under the bright heat of the sun, but Harry knows well enough that winter isn’t through. The people around him are dressed in furs and other material for the chill, and he’s no different. He’s always preferred to be a little too warm than a little too cold.

Two women stand in line in front of him, both chatting amongst one another, so he waits. The smell inside is different from the last time; sweeter and more like how he remembers his home used to smell nearer to Christmas, when cookies were most of what they pulled from their oven and sweet smelling spices were lit aflame to create a soft, sweet aroma throughout his home. A kind of nostalgia he can’t remember feeling before sweeps over him with memories of his mother and sister smashing through his thoughts.

He remembers how Gemma would sneak the spoon out of the bowl the maids would cook with and lick it clean, only to replace it when the maids weren’t looking. He remembers how his mum would usher the help home in the holiday seasons and do the cooking herself, because she enjoyed it in the festive seasons.

He approaches the counter as soon as the two women leave, getting himself out of his head, and he’s greeted by the same kind looking face he’d seen the previous time he was here. “Hello,” She greets again, “What can I get you?” She seems to have almost a permanent-looking smile on her face, and it makes Harry want to stay and chat with her; she seems inviting in a way so few people are.

“I’d like another loaf of your bread please. And two cookies, whichever kind you’ve most recently baked.”

“Of course. I’ll have those right out for you.” She walks to the back of the kitchen and Harry watches this time. He can see the same blue-eyed man tending to the ovens, pulling a long sheet of metal out of one with what looks to be two dozen cookies laid out on it. He looks away every so often to make sure he doesn’t come across as too bold, but he hopes that his gaze will be caught. “Louis,” He hears in the distance, “Take these to the gentleman up front, please. I need to fix this.” He can’t see what she’s speaking of that she needs to fix, but he watches as the man – Louis – wraps what he’d ordered in the same brown paper he’d been given the time previous and takes it to him.

As soon as their eyes meet, a flash of recognition goes across Louis’ face, followed by a shy smile. “Hello,” He says softly. It’s the same light, airy voice that Harry remembers so fondly. He wants to listen to him speak again, wants to hear him talk about anything he’s willing to. “That will be five pence.”

Harry takes the coins from his pocket and places them in Louis’ hand. There’s no one else in the little shop once he has his treats in his hand, so he pauses a moment.

“Do you think, perhaps, I could see you again? Outside of here?” The question seems to take him aback for a moment, but as soon as he processes it, the smile returns to his face, bigger.

“I suppose.” He says glancing to the back of the kitchen. “If you would like to meet me here tomorrow at sundown, outside, I’ll be here.” Harry’s heart skips a beat in excitement, happy that he’ll finally have the chance to see this captivating man outside of the few moments he’s gotten during their exchanges.

“Tomorrow at sundown. See you tomorrow,” He pauses a moment, letting the end of his sentence hang. He thinks he’s overheard his name, but he doesn’t want to come across rudely if he misheard.

“Louis.” He finishes for him, proving that he’d heard correctly. Harry smiles. “See you tomorrow, Harry.” It makes him feel giddy just by the simple fact that he’d been memorable enough to him for him to remember his name, too.

Excitement flutters in his chest throughout his entire ride home.

Even when he returns home, the giddy feeling doesn’t go away. There is still the strong feeling of excitement bubbling in his chest as he walks through the door and places his coat into the closet. Liam is sitting in the den, reading something that Harry doesn’t recognize, but when he notices Harry, he looks up.

“Good evening.” He greets and Harry nods in response.

“I saw the man from the bakery again. I found out his name is Louis.” Liam makes a motion with his hand for him to continue as he closes his book and places it aside, giving him all of his attention. Harry sits on the couch opposite his friend and thinks for a moment before he speaks. “I’m meeting him again tomorrow at sundown. He gave permission to meet him outside of his work and I’m – I’m more excited than I’d like to admit.”

“I’m happy for you.” Liam says with the smallest of smiles. He looks pleased – but Harry knows there’s something hidden there. Some kind of fear or unsurity, but he doesn’t intend on dealing with any kind of negative feelings towards his feelings for this lovely bakery boy. He’s well and entirely aware that Louis is of a lesser class and he’s even more aware that others may think that their relationship could be unorthodox or strange – but he doesn’t care.

Never once in his life has he found himself looking at someone simply out of their sheer beauty and then wanted to stay around because of their kindness. There had been times that he worried he’d never find someone who interested him enough to want to be with for the rest of his life – but it had never been as terrifying as it felt in that moment. Slowly, the thought of being alone for the rest of his life crept into his brain and the panic welled up in his chest.

He’d always assumed that he’d dedicate the rest of his life to his work, studying and working already taking up a majority of his time. But the thought of it suddenly doesn’t sit well with him.

“Do you miss Sophia, being away from her like this?”

“Of course I do.” Liam says, a sadness in his voice. “She is my other half and the love of my life. But I understand that she needs to be with her family right now, and I have an obligation to be here. So, the longing isn’t as painful.” Harry nods. He wishes he could feel that for someone. He wishes he could feel the kind of love for someone that he would long upon their absence.

“That’s what I want, Liam. I want someone to love me and to love. I want someone to miss when I’m away. I want to have a reason to stay in this city where I often feel there is nothing for me.”

“You’ll find someone, Harry. I know you will.” Liam places a comforting hand on his shoulder and they share a look for a moment. It’s enough to settle the worry in Harry’s stomach.

“Thank you, my friend.”

The next day begins with one of the most beautiful sunrises Harry has ever witnessed. The sun rises over the water, casting oranges, pinks, and yellows across the entire sky. Colors are reflected back by the clouds, yet the tint of color stays with them and coats the sky in art. He loves waking up at sunrise for that exact reason. Loves waking up to the natural beauty that the world gives him every day – things he finds himself so often overlooking.

Liam brings him his clothing for the day as well as his morning tea, and then he’s left alone once again. He’s been in London for just barely a month now – and he plans for today being his first day back in practice. Being out of work for the timespan long enough to begin the moving process and settle down has left him itching to return to it. Helping others has always been his calling, and healing others has always been a natural gift of his.

After receiving his degree, he’d opened his home to anyone who needed his help. Often times, he’d have people who couldn’t afford his services come to him in clear need of help, and rarely did he have the heart to turn them away. Liam had been appointed by his father to do the screenings before Harry, simply for his ability to say no to someone. A quality Harry knows he lacks.

In the den, he sat beside the fire. It warmed the lowest level of the house and kept the inside comfortable. He looks out the window for a moment, watching as the colors in the sky fade from the sunrise array to the light blue that he loves just as much.

He’s on his second cup of tea and writing in his journal when Liam comes into the room, his notebook in his hand. “Harry, there’s a young girl with her father outside. The girl says she’s having very painful stomach issues. Would you like to see her?”

“Send her inside.” He says with a small smile. Liam nods before he turns and goes back to where the girl and her father are. He closes the journal and waits a moment until the two come inside. He motions for the girl to sit down and she does, but it’s clear in seconds that she’s in severe pain. She walks with a grimace and holds her stomach when she sits. She doesn’t look any older than maybe nine, making Harry already feel a kind of responsibility for wanting to help her in the best way he can. “Hello, I’m Harry Styles. What’s bothering you today?” He asks anyway, prompting her.

“It’s her stomach.” The father begins for her. He nods. “She hasn’t been able to keep any of her food or drink down for nearly two days now, and it’s becoming increasingly worrisome.” He says, moving his fingers as he speaks in worry.

“Okay. What’s your name, love?” He asks the girl.

“I’m Lilith.”

“Okay, Lilith. Can you tell me where it’s hurting you?” She points to the center of her stomach, just above her belly button. “Okay, and other than vomiting, have you had any other symptoms?”

“I’m quite hot.” She says, sniffling. “But also cold at the same time. And my body is achy.” Harry nods.

“Okay, love. It’s a rather easy fix for you today, okay? I’m going to ask you to drink a special tea for me, and then I want you to go home and drink plenty of water, as well as make two batches of the tea I give you daily until your pain goes away.” Both her and the father seem to perk up at that revelation, and it brings a small smile to Harry’s face.

In a small pot, he puts a few drops of wormwood oil, three mint sprigs, and some lemon balm. He crushes it all together to create a powder before pouring boiling water over the concoction in a strainer. “Now, this might not taste wonderful.” He says, making the girl giggle a bit. “But if you like lemon, it shouldn’t be too unbearable. He hands her the cup of tea, and allows her to take a few moments for it to cool before drinking it.

“Thank you for helping her.” The father says, “We went to the hospital both yesterday and today, but the nurses turned us away because she wasn’t ill enough.”

“It’s always best to go to a private physician. My father and my instructors both share that philosophy.”

“You don’t act the way any other physician I’ve ever seen before.” The man observes, making Harry chuckle.

“My studies were based less on that of mythology and more on the basis of what the ill person is actually feeling. I do not ask my patients their date of birth nor their star sign, simply because those superstitions that I was taught early in my education are still there, and I don’t want them interfering with my practice. My professors called it a new era of medicine.”

“Well, if your tea helps my daughter, I will be pleased. Thank you for your help today.”

“It’s not a problem. Feel free to return if she stays ill beyond three more days.” The father nods. “Liam in the front will handle payment.”

The rest of the day goes on much the same, with several ill people coming through his door after being turned away at the hospital. He sees six people that day, and he’s confident that everyone he sent home will be entirely healthy within the week. He’s well aware that his methods are rather unorthodox, but as he’s learned, they work, so he has no reason to alter them in any way. He’s always believed that helping each person he can will ease the ever-fearful thought that his time on earth is entirely meaningless. He wants nothing more than to have an impact on someone, and if that means he has to spread himself out to everyone who he can, then he doesn’t mind. He craves or his existence to matter, to have some kind of meaning beyond just himself.

As he closes the doors for the evening and Liam hands him the small pouch full of coins from the day’s work, he hopes once again that the things he strives to do have had some kind of impact.

 

 

 

 

**PART TWO**

My eyes are constantly wide open to the extraordinary fact of existence. Not just human existence, but the existence of life and how this breathtakingly powerful process, which is natural selection, has managed to take the very simple facts of physics and chemistry and build them up to redwood trees and humans.

-Richard Dawkins

 

It’s closer to sunset than he’d anticipated by the time he’s walking down to the town centre. Anticipation builds in his stomach once again with the thought that he will get to see Louis, that he will get to speak to him for more than just a brief moment. It makes butterflies swarm in his stomach in a way he doesn’t think he’s felt about something other than Louis in years.

He’d chosen not to take his horse this time, simply because he hopes that this evening will not come to a fast end, and he doesn’t want any of his animals out in the open of the chill for longer than necessary. But walking allows him to appreciate his surroundings more than he normally would, he thinks. Everything seems so much more beautiful in the closing hours of the night as he treads down the path.

Orange hues paint the sky for the second time that day, and the hammock of trees above his head makes the scene all the more appealing. Harry has always believed that nature is one of the most beautiful things in the world, that there are very few things that could genuinely compete with what the world gives them each and every day.

He reaches the small bakery just a few minutes later, and the town center is quiet. No one else is out and almost all of the shops are empty for the evening. There is no smoke coming from the chimney of the bakery, but through the window he can see the glow of a lantern still illuminating the interior. Without knowing what else to do, he decides to just wait outside and let himself appreciate the view of the area around him once again.

But it’s barely a moment before Louis is emerging from the building and a small look of surprise crosses his features. “Hello.” Harry says and tips his hat in greeting. Louis looks absolutely stunning in the low light of the end of the day. It’s clear that he’d cleaned off the smudges of ash from his body, because his skin is flawless, illuminated by the softness of the sun. His eyes look even more blue than he remembers them being, and everything about him is just entirely stunning.

“You actually came.” Louis says, the shock still clear on his face.

“Of course I did. Did you have doubts?”

“I – I assumed you weren’t serious about coming. I mean… it’s rather unheard of, isn’t it?”

“Did you not want me to come?” He asks, an eyebrow tilted upwards. That thought hadn’t even passed through his mind, that Louis may not have been sincere when he had said that he would allow Harry to meet him here. The thought doesn’t sit well with him and uncertainty floods through his mind before he watches the other man stumble over his words.

“No!” Louis says, a blush spreading across his face. “I wanted you to come. Definitely. I just – I suppose I didn’t expect you to.”

“Well here I am.” Harry says with a soft smile and Louis turns away bashfully, the red blush still dusting across his cheeks.

“My mother said she would like to speak to you. But I must warn you that she is rather… bold, oftentimes.”

“Ah, I’m not afraid. She can come speak with me if she would like to.” As if on que, the same woman from before with the kind eyes comes out of the shop and approaches the two of them. Louis takes that as his moment to step a few meters away, to give them a bit of privacy, and Harry gives the woman a kind smile.

“Hello. I’m Harry Styles.”

“Jay Tomlinson.” She responds with the same smile. “I would like to know what your intentions are with my son, Mr. Styles, before I may or may not allow you to see him this evening.” He nods in understanding.

“Well, Mrs.Tomlinson, I have every desire to begin a courtship with your son, if you allow it. I think I’m at the stage in my life where I am ready, both mentally and financially to begin the process of starting a family. If he finds himself in the same situation and mindset and would also like to pursue such a thing with me, then I would be pleased to court him.”

“You are aware that our financial status wouldn’t allow you to gain anything from a marriage with my son, correct?”

“Entirely, ma’am. To be honest, your son is captivating. Beautiful in ways I don’t think I’ve ever seen, and I want nothing more than to get to know him and he I, to see if we are compatible. I need nothing else in my life financially, and there is no burden to not gaining anything from your family if we were to marry.” She seems to approve of Harry’s answer, based on the smile on her face. She places a hand on Harry’s shoulder and squeezes softly.

“You have my permission, Harry. You’re welcome to return home with us for the evening so you and Louis can speak.”

“Thank you.” He says, the giddy feeling creeping back into his stomach at the thought of getting to spend an evening with Louis. Jay motions for Louis to come over, and the other boy starts walking towards Harry while Jay walks ahead of them.

“Not too bad?” Louis asks with a little giggle. Harry can’t help the grin that spreads across his face. Something about Louis is entirely captivating in ways he hadn’t thought entirely possible. Barely a moment later, the same toddler he’d seen Louis chasing a few days previous runs out of the shop and over to Jay, who picks him up easily. He takes a moment to appreciate him, and the idea of having a child around. He’s always loved children.

“She was very kind, actually.” He says, smiling, “She asked my what my intentions with you are, of course, and I said that with her permission, I would like to uh,” He clams up all of a sudden, the words not sounding right in his head, “Um, if you’re willing, I would like to court, you, Louis.” Louis’ face shows the same shock he’d had earlier, but this time it only makes a little giggle come from Harry’s mouth.

“I’d love that, Harry.”

They walk together the rest of the way, Louis standing closer to Harry as the chill gets colder throughout their walk. It’s cute to have him tucked so closely to him, and it’s nice to have someone to almost be holding. They talk about everything and nothing all at once, talking about their days and their favorite foods and just about anything they can think of.

Harry’s laughed more than he has in years by the time they get to Louis’ house. It’s small, in the very center of the housing district. The houses surrounding Louis’ are all pressed together, and they all look almost identical with the white color adorned with the brown wood siding. It’s quaint and also a little eye opening – Harry thinks – to see how the other half of the world lives. But regardless of the size, it’s absolutely lovely.

“You have a gorgeous home.” He says to Louis as they walk through the door, Louis setting the small bag he was carrying on a hook nearest the door.

“Thank you.” He says softly. “I’ll light the fire. Sorry it’s a bit cold.” Harry doesn’t respond, but instead he follows Louis and watches as he lights the fire and pours water into a tea kettle, placing it on a metal rod over the freshly lit flame.

“Is it just the three of you that live here?”

“My sister lives here as well, but since she works so often, it’s rare I see her outside of church on Sundays. But it’s just the four of us.” He pauses a moment and sits on the floor, leaning against the wall. Harry sits beside him, sitting close enough that their thighs are touching. Jay has gone somewhere with the younger boy, leaving them alone for the moment to talk alone. It gets slowly warmer as the fire keeps heating the space around them, and Harry finds that’s he’s comfortable there. He’s comfortable around Louis already – making it easier than he ever would have thought to strike up an easy conversation.

“What do you want out of your life? Is there anything you really want? More than anything?” Harry asks as Louis moves to pour the fresh tea into two glasses, giving each of them one.

“I think I want children, more than anything else. Which, I suppose is rather difficult since I’m uh, unable to conceive naturally.” Harry nods in understanding. It’s always been on his mind that he won’t ever have a child that is his own by blood – but after watching all of the thousands of parents fall to their death with their children left behind, he no longer worries about the idea of not having a child of his own blood. He can have a child to raise and love, despite it not being his.

“I’ve started thinking more about having children, but only recently, I think. It’s never actually been something I’ve put too much thought in to. But I think I’ve always wanted it. Now that I’m older, I want it more.” 

“That makes sense. I’ve been craving fatherhood more as of late, too. It’s strange that age seems to make it stronger.” It feels nice to know that he and Louis are on the same page of wanting to raise a child. It makes something settle within Harry and it makes him feel even more interested in wanting to pursue a courtship with Louis. It’s all coming together better than he ever thought it could have.

They share jokes, a few secrets, life ambitions, and everything Harry can think of until it’s much later than he’d intended to be out. The night has gone faster than a night has gone for him in a long while. Yet, he still doesn’t want to leave.

The soft glow of the fire makes a soft orange glow of Louis’ skin, illuminating his beauty beyond what Harry had thought was possible for a single person. Yet, Louis has already seemingly surpassed everything he’d thought was possible for a person to have.

The moon is high in the sky when he decides it is beyond his welcome in Louis’ home for the night. “Good night, Louis.”

⸎

As he enters the door to his home two days later, he’s greeted with silence. The fireplace is dying where it’s usually burning, and there’s a strong smell of something cooking, but there are no voices. He’s used to this, really. Liam is usually off reading or doing something in his journal when Harry doesn’t require him, and he assumes Charlotte is cooking dinner and cleaning something, as she usually is.

He knows that he should be used to the silence, should be used to coming home with no one to greet him at the end of each day, but in the recent days, he’s grown the desire to have someone. Not just to have someone there in the sense that Liam is, but in the sense that he wants to come home to someone he loves, and perhaps a child. He’s never thought about having children of his own before, not after watching so many die at the hands of the illness that had swept the country in his youth, but something has managed to change his mind. He wants to raise someone, wants to have a child that loves him unconditionally and sees him as their hero. He wants to have that kind of unconditional love for another human being that cannot be created in any way other than parenthood. It’s something he never thought he would crave, yet in the deepest parts of his heart, he’s recently began to.

He thinks it might be something to do with the beautiful bakery boy.  Despite knowing him for only a short amount of time, he’s found himself more and more involved with the idea of falling in love. He thinks he’s not entirely fanaticizing about falling in love with  _ him  _ exactly, but more of the idea of it. He wants to fall in love so desperately, and with each day, the desire grows stronger. In passing thought, he thinks he wouldn’t be upset if he were to get that ending with the man he’s had his eyes so set on recently. The idea certainly sits well with him.

The following night, Harry meets Louis back at the bakery right at sun down. It’s colder out than it has been in at least a week, so he’d brought along a second jacket as a gift to give to the other man. It was soft, made entirely out of the finest furs he could find and on the interior pocket he’d had a small L embroidered into it. The slight anxiety that it was too much for a first gift was burrowed deep inside of the knots in his stomach, but he tried his best not to worry about things like that. Not knowing the other man’s size made the purchase more difficult than it could have been, but it worked out. He’d ended up having to ask Niall to leave the stables for a day and come down to the tailor and use his measurements, but it looked about right and he assumed it would work. Liam agreed, and it was enough reassurance for him.

He’s always been a giver – giving gifts to anyone who he had an excuse to give them to – but the idea of courting made giving gifts feel even better. Louis deserved the entire world given to him on the finest of all platters, but this was a good start.

“Harry!” Louis says when he emerges, a little smile on his face. There’s ash smudged on his skin, giving away that he really hadn’t expected him to be there to meet him, and it makes Harry almost feel giddy. Something about seeing Louis in his everyday way makes his heart flutter – makes him feel like he’s genuinely a piece of the complex world that belongs to Louis Tomlinson. Seeing him when he’s put together and proper is a blessing of it’s own, but something about this is different in a way he can’t describe. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

“I know. I just thought I’d walk you home.”

“Really? That’s – that’s actually very kind.” The small red dusting of a blush comes back across his cheeks and Harry already feels happy all over again.

Being with Louis creates a very unique kind of emotion for Harry, he’s realized. There’s nothing else that can really, truly compare to the feeling he gets in his stomach whenever he thinks about the other man, or even more so when he’s with him. He’s never been one to believe in love at first sight, and he certainly knows this isn’t love at first sight, but the  _ prospect  _ of loving Louis is just so real that he feels drunk on it.

“I brought you something.” Harry says and holds the jacket out for Louis to put on. He stares at it for a moment, as if he’s in shock, before he stutters out a little response.

“Harry – this – this is too much. I can’t – this is too much.”

“You deserve more than too much, Louis. I want to give you everything.” Louis bites his lip as if he’s pondering a response before he slides his arms into the holes where Harry is still holding it out.

“I can’t believe you got this for me. This must have cost a fortune.”

“Do not worry about money, Lou. I don’t want you to think about that, okay? I only want the best for someone I’m so interested in, and just know that I wanted to do this for you. It’s not fair that you walk home in such little cover in the coldest of the months.”

“Did you have a good day?”

“It was rather long, since my mum was home with Ernest today. He’s fallen ill with something and after um, after my other younger sister died last year, she’s rather afraid any time someone gets sick.” Harry nods in understanding.

“I’m so sorry.” He says, the familiar ache of remembering the loss from the sickness settling in his chest. He’d lost his sister too – and the pain never really goes away. He can’t imagine how Jay must be feeling, not after seeing how his own parents had felt. “I can check him over if it would put ease to your mother’s worry?”

“What do you mean?” Louis asks, furrowing an eyebrow and Harry is almost taken aback for a moment. It’s a strange revelation, realizing that he didn’t think about work for even a moment each time he was with Louis. Every time he was with Louis, the bad and the strange in his life seemed to disappear – and that included his work. The realization that he’d failed to mention his profession to Louis sweeps over him in waves.

“I must have forgotten to tell you. I’m a physician. I graduated from the Royal College very shortly before moving away from London a few years ago.” Louis is quiet a moment, but he just cuddles closer to Harry, intertwining their hands as they walk. The silence is enough of an answer to Harry – it conveys the comfort between them, the trust that he feels on his end and shows that it’s reciprocated. It’s the kind of comfortable silence he’s gone several years without.

With their hands intertwined, something feels safe – something feels like it’s clicked into place and he doesn’t know how he could see himself not doing this all the time. The way the world around them is quiet and the air is cool – it all feels right.

As the days go on, it becomes a part of Harry’s daily routine to walk Louis home from work. Each night, he meets Louis outside of the little bakery at sundown and they just walk together, sharing about the high lights of their day. It’s been rather frustrating for the last week that he’s been too busy during the day to come visit Louis, but each night he has the absolute perfect end to his day.

There are days where he’s able to pop in and see Louis and steal him away just for a few moments to himself. They’ll share little kisses and simple, chaste touches before Louis will have to return back to his mother with a light red blush on his cheeks and a smile on his face. It’s another thing that’s made Harry’s days better than he can describe. Just sneaking away for a few moments to have these moments – they all are slowly making him more and more fond of the other man.

He’s always so kind and sweet, his hands always rough from working with heat all day, and it’s become another one of Harry’s favorite things. The way his hands feel against his skin when they just brush gently against the skin on his cheek. There are rarely days that he can have Louis to himself – since their schedules are never seem to match up properly. But they’ve made it work.

Before long, the days fade to weeks and he’s still meeting with Louis every night to walk him home. He brings Louis little gifts sometimes – just little things that aren’t too expensive but enough to show Louis that he’s still more than interested in pursuing this. He always loves watching the way that the other man’s face lights up with the joy of opening something and then putting it on or keeping it for himself.

At the beginning, he could tell Louis had an issue with accepting the gifts. It was almost like he’d felt bad about taking the things that were just for himself – that he wasn’t meant to share with anyone else – but after enough reassurance that it was okay and a part of this, the hesitancy had gone away. 

“I brought you something,” He starts this evening, the same way he usually does. There’s a little, shy smile on Louis’ face, the same way there always is when he gets something new. Harry pulls out a small box from his pocket, wrapped in a satin bow, and hands it over to the other man. When he opens it, there’s a look of shock on his face. “A promise ring.” He says quietly, placing a little kiss on his cheek. Jay is still in the bakery, finishing something while she’d allowed Louis to come out with him, so they can share these little stolen moments of intimacy.

“Thank you, Harry.” He says and slips the ring onto his ring finger. It’s a little sapphire jewel – the closest he could find to the blue to match Louis’ eyes. He still doesn’t think that it does him justice – not in the way it could – but he knows Louis doesn’t really care about the gifts.

It’s almost scary how he can feel himself beginning to care so deeply for the other man with each passing night. With each day, he feels his heart growing fond of the other and missing him deeply as they are apart. It’s a feeling he doesn’t think he’s ever had before – wanting to see someone at every point in the day, wanting to share every detail of his life with someone else.

He doesn’t think he loves Louis yet. But he loves that he could.

“You look exhausted, love.” He says quietly as they start to walk together. Louis nods and cuddles closer to Harry, a smile on his face as they get closer.

“I am. It’s been nearly a month since I’ve been able to stay home.”

“A month?” Harry asks, his eyebrows raised. He’s never heard of someone having to go every day for a month without having a single day to themselves. While he hasn’t ever really spoken to someone of the lower class, he still doesn’t think that it would be right to have to go that long.

“Since Ernest isn’t old enough to know what he’s doing yet, he can’t help, so it’s just me and mum.”

“I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Would you just – stay tonight? And just hold me for a while?”

“I would love that, Louis.” He walks him the rest of the way home with just the smallest of conversation floating between them. He can tell Louis is tired enough that he isn’t really keeping up like he normally would, but it’s all right. Everything is in place, exactly how it should be. So they walk, hand in hand, and Harry is happy. When they get back to Louis’, they walk past the downstairs area where they would normally sit for a while and just walk right up to Louis’ bedroom.

It feels a little scandalous, but he doesn’t think that Jay would mind enough to say anything. He thinks it’s innocent enough to just sleep together without doing anything sexual. So, he waits while Louis changes into his night clothes and goes to lay with him, holding him tightly even beyond when he’s fallen asleep.

It’s a strange feeling, the tightness he gets in his chest as he watches the man he feels so fond of asleep in his arms. He looks softer than he usually does – even with the unwashed ash smudges on his face. All of the muscles in his face are relaxed and his lips are parted just slightly, little breathes coming out in tiny puffs. “I think you can have my entire heart one day.” He whispers quietly, Louis’ soft snores filling the room and the darkness surrounding them.

He brushes a strand of hair away from Louis’ face, smiling softly before he settles himself down into a comfortable position to sleep, Louis still in his arms. The truthfulness that he spoke into the night made him feel better than he has in a long while, all with the assurance that Louis hadn’t heard him.

It’s terrifying – the feeling of falling so deeply for another person. But as he drifts off into a comfortable slumber, he feels at peace.

“Harry.” He hears Louis whisper, pulling him out of his sleep. He blinks his eyes open, smiling softly at the gentle waking.

“Hi.” He whispers softly.

“We have the day together. My mum said she wants me to spend a day with you.” It’s a great surprise to wake up to, and it makes the smile on his face grow wider. “She said something about appreciating you taking care of me and that the two of us deserve it. So, I wouldn’t turn that down.” He realizes then that the sun looks higher in the sky through the window than it usually does when he wakes and that it’s likely later in the day than he’d thought.

“Would you like to come to my house?” Louis’ eyebrows raise, a twinkle of something in his eye that Harry has never seen before.

“I would love to come to your house, Harry.” They giggle together for a moment – just because it feels so wrong to be sharing these little moments that they shouldn’t be having. Jay hasn’t kept up entirely on the job of an escourt, which has only managed to confuse Harry, but he can’t really say he minds.

“So, your mother doesn’t think you need an escourt at all times?”

“Well, as much as I’ve read about upper-class courtships, those rituals don’t really apply to those of us who don’t have money. Since you aren’t marrying me for my estate, it would be less of a crime to anyone if you were to take my virginity and flee. But if men were interested in marrying me for my estate, then virginity is a big factor in that. As well as the fact that we just don’t have enough money to be away from work watching our children.” Harry is quiet for a while, taking all of the information in while he runs his fingers over the bare skin of Louis’ stomach. He had never realized all of the differences between the two of them just in the way their lives had been expected to turn out.

He’d watched Gemma have to have supervision at all times when her fiancé had been courting her. It’s a strange thought, but it does make sense. He doesn’t think about it anymore – even though he rarely did at all – but their differences in money had made a significant impact on them as people. Yet he still finds himself beyond blessed to have found someone as incredible and special as Louis.

They get out of bed only when he hears Louis’ stomach rumbling quietly. He’s gained weight since Harry started bringing extra food to almost all of the dinners he’s invited to. It’s been incredible watching him come to his true beauty in health.

It’s a short venture down to the kitchen where Charlotte is finishing cooking the lamb that Liam had prepared for the evening. But as soon as they reach the kitchen, Louis freezes.

“Good evening Mr.Styles this is – “ She says, her back towards the two of them as she’s still facing the oven. But when she turns around, she freezes as well.

“Lottie?”

“Louis?” The two of them say at the same time, and Harry looks between the two of them in confusion.

“Do you two know each other?” He asks, quirking an eyebrow. His confusion only grows when Louis embraces Charlotte in a tight hug and she hugs him back as well.

“Harry – this – this is my sister! I haven’t seen you in ages, where have you been?”

“I don’t come home until long after you and mum are asleep, and I leave at dawn.”

“You’re related?” Harry asks, still dumbfounded. He’d never realized the resemblance between the two of them, but with them both standing next to one another, it’s clear as day. “Oh, my. Yes. Yeah, I can definitely see it now. I hadn’t even realized.” He pauses again for a moment, watching the happiness in Louis’ eyes. “Would you like to join us for dinner, Charlotte? You can take the evening off if you’d like. I’m sorry I didn’t realize sooner that the two of you were related – I didn’t mean to keep you apart at all.”

“No, no, it’s fine. I know you two are having an evening in together. Enjoy it. I’ll be just fine.” She’s smiling as she says it, and Louis doesn’t object, so Harry just nods his own agreement. “This is finished now.”

“Go home, charlotte. Enjoy the rest of your evening. Louis and I can handle the house for tonight.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Go home. See your mother.” She nods with a smile and starts gathering her things to leave, leaving him and Louis alone in the kitchen.

“Thank you, Harry. I can’t believe I didn’t know she worked for you!” He says with a laugh. “I should have guessed. She said you were nice and generous and funny.” Harry smiles and pulls Louis into a tight embrace, kissing the top of his head softly.

“Nice and generous and funny? Anything else?” He asks with a little grin, making Louis giggle once again.

“Attractive, pretty, amazing, lovely…” He says, pretending to count off different adjectives on his fingers. They laugh together for a while before sitting down at the table together and eating their supper, cups of tea in hand as they do. Having an entire day and evening with Louis has been incredible in ways Harry doesn’t know how to describe.

He’s slowly starting to feel comfortable with the idea of seeing Louis every day for the rest of his life. It’s an entirely strange feeling considering he’s known him for such a short amount of time, but it’s also a peaceful feeling. He’s never felt more certain about where his future is going to take him or how his life is going to turn out than when he’s been with Louis.

They return back to Harry’s room shortly after they eat, but as soon as they lay down in bed, Louis sits up and turns to Harry. “I don’t want to have sex yet.” Louis says and it makes a little laugh come from Harry’s mouth.

“Okay. Where did that come from?” He asks, a grin still on his face.

“I don’t want to have sex, but I do… I do want you to touch me.” Harry raises his eyebrows in surprise, but leans in to kiss Louis gently, just a fleeting touch to make sure he’s certain. He kisses back fast and hard, pressing their lips together closely and pulling himself over on to Harry’s lap.

“Are you sure?”

“Stop asking questions.” He says with a smile and tugs off his shirt, tossing the material somewhere in the room. Harry can’t help himself when he looks him over for a moment. He’d thought before that Louis was stunning, but seeing him now, exposed more than he has before, he’s beyond beautiful. He’s ethereal. He’s the most beautiful person Harry’s ever seen, both inside and out and he has to take a moment to appreciate that he’s  _ his. _

Stripping the rest of their clothes off is a slow but easy feat. Time is taken to plant gentle kisses on exposed skin and run hands along new places of their bodies previously unseen, and it’s the best feeling Harry has ever had in his life.

With Louis still in his lap, he wraps his hand around both of their cocks and slowly pumps his fist. It’s slow and sensual, yet it feels incredible. Louis kisses him again and puts his hands on his shoulders, finger nails digging into his skin with each thrust of his hand as little pants of breath come out of his nose.

“I want you like this forever.” He says when they break their kiss apart, using his other hand to run his fingers down the soft skin of Louis’ face. “I want you here, in my bed, and I want to make you feel good just like this every day for the rest of my life.” Louis smiles, leaning his forehead flush against Harry’s.

“I want to be here with you every day, too.” A little moan pushes past his lips right after he says that, and then he comes over his hand, Harry not far behind him. He thinks it might be the domestic talk that can get him to come so quickly – but it could very well be Louis as well. He’s so enraptured by Louis’ beauty that he isn’t entirely sure there’s another thing in the world that could possibly compare.

“Stay tonight?” He asks, the words quiet as the darkness starts to settle in around them. The moon is full tonight, but the sky is overcast.

“If you’ll have me.”

“Always.” He whispers softly. They lay there a while after barely cleaning up with a cloth from the bedside table before Harry decides to have Liam run the both of them a bath. He waits as his friend fills their tub with enough warm water that it wouldn’t spill over when they got in, and then he walks into the room himself and dumps his basket full of dried flower petals into the water to add the nice smell. “Lou,” He calls, waiting for the smaller man to follow and come join him.

Harry gets in first, resting his back against the metal of the basin, and then Louis follows, getting right between Harry’s legs and cuddling up with him. It’s incredible to think that one day soon this could be what he can look forward to every single day – to have Louis here with him, just doing little, normal things like this.

He’s not worried that this is just novelty of being around someone new. As much as he doesn’t believe in love at first sight, he has learned to believe in  _ chance  _ at first sight. There’s something really incredible about the feelings he gets when he’s with Louis – feelings he’s never once experienced with another person and he’s not sure at all that he ever will.

He wants to grow old beside him and wants to have him there as long as he’s willing to be. It almost feels like it should be scary – but nothing about it is. Instead, when he thinks about forever and dying and living, he feels comfort. It’s the first time in his life that he hasn’t felt like he needs something more in his life – that there’s something else he could be doing, that he should be doing.

He thinks he has everything set out, right in front of him, to make everything okay and to make everything all work out for himself one day.

After their bath, they return to the bed to sleep for the night, but they ended up talking instead of going to sleep. They’re both sat up, a bowl of strawberries between them as they talk and eat quietly.

“Tell me something about you.” Louis whispers as the moonlight streams through the windows, making his skin glow beautifully. His face is sleep soft and the skin of his chest is exposed while the rest of his body is hidden by the silk sheets. “I can feel myself falling in love with you, yet I feel as though I know so little about you.” His heart skips a beat in his chest at the words from Louis’ mouth. The idea of this beautiful man beside him falling in love with him is everything he’s ever wanted.

“What would you like to know?” He asks, running his fingers through the soft fringe of his boy’s hair.

“What is something that scares you the most?”

“When I was young, my father would take me out sailing. Sometimes we’d go for several nights, and I’d lay on the ship and stare up at the sky. He always taught me that if you hold your fingers up to the north star, you’ll never be lost, and something about that stuck with me. The stars, as far away and infinite as they are, have helped and served mankind for centuries. There’s millions of them, like there are us, and yet each of them has a name that will be remembered forever, and all of us will be forgotten, in time. So that’s my fear. I fear I’ll never find my place in the world, in the universe. Never shine as I should.” Louis stays quiet for a moment after that, before his hand goes and rests over Harry’s heart. He feels his pulse quicken beneath the touch, both the mixture of being alongside Louis and the intimacy of the gesture making him anxious.

“Your heart is so much bigger than that of anyone I’ve ever met. You, Harry, shine brighter than any star that could ever be held in the sky. You can’t be held into the box of shining for one purpose; you shine in ways that I don’t think you realize. In the way you hold my hand a little tighter when we’re in public, in the way you give your horses extra treats after a long ride, in the way your voice changes when you’re helping an ill child, in the way you always say thank you to those who help you, even when you know you don’t have to. You’re more than any star could ever wish to be.”

Harry doesn’t know what to say to that, so he just doesn’t. Instead he kisses Louis once again, and goes to lay down properly. “Thank you, Louis. You’re so much more than you will ever think you are, too.”

“Good night, H.” They sleep together again that night, their limbs tangled up together throughout the night, and perfect doesn’t even seem like the proper word to describe it anymore.

Winter goes, but it does not go quietly. The storms rage at their very worst in the waning weeks of the season, and everything is shut down for nearly three days. Jay has come to accept in the past few weeks that Louis stays over at his house regularly, but neither of them had planned for this to be a night for him to be staying over.

It had been snowing for the entire day; large, white flakes falling from the sky faster than they could melt. So, when it was nearly time for both Louis and Lottie to leave for the evening, it wasn’t as much of a surprise as it could have been that the door wouldn’t open. They were snowed in beyond what they’d expected out of the storm.

“Harry.” Charlotte says from where the two of them are standing by the door.

“Yes?”

“The door won’t open. I think the snow may have gotten too high for it to be able to.” He pauses for a moment, then looks out the window nearest the door and laughs a little, just to himself.

“Well, I suppose the two of you are staying tonight, then.” He says with a little laugh. He and Louis both set out blankets and create a soft enough place for Charlotte to sleep before they both head off to start getting ready for bed themselves.

It hits him very suddenly but all at once that this could be their lives, together, one day. He can see himself helping support Louis’ entire family one day and he can see himself being there for Louis as often as he possibly can. One day, he hopes, Louis’ family can have it easier – that they won’t all have to work every single second of each day just to support themselves.

As he lays in bed that night with Louis in his arms, the thought brings another smile to his face.

⸎

It’s quiet in the evenings as it always has been when he goes to walk Louis home. Jay tells them to go ahead and head off since she has other things she needs to take care of, and it brings a smile to Harry’s face. The gifts that he’d been getting Louis had slowly gotten lesser but more expensive as the months went on, but with each happy look in Louis’ eyes with each gift, he could tell that it was still more than good enough for the other man.

But, tonight is something entirely different than the other nights that he’d just handed Louis something off in passing. This is more private – more intimate – and he has every intention of giving it to him when they’re alone together. Yet, at the same time, he doesn’t want it to be too expected. He’s long since known that he’s a rather predicatable person – always doing things the way he should or the way he’s been told to – so doing this is entirely off his charts.  

He’s been planning this night for just over two weeks now – a way to promise Louis that they will stay together without completely proposing. As they walk, a silence surrounds them, but it stays comfortable. He’s learned that silence with Louis is rarely awkward, since most of the things he has to say are meaningful and thought out. Louis is quiet in public, keeping his thoughts to himself unless asked to share, but Harry also knows the other side of him when he’s excited and can barely stop talking. He’s learned to love and appreciate the silence between them and anticipate the meaningful truth behind their conversations.

When they finally reach Louis’ house, it’s completely empty. Louis goes straight to the fireplace and lights it, getting the tea kettle placed over the top of it before he settles down, back against the wall, and motions for Harry to sit beside him.

“I brought you something again. But this one… you can’t show anyone this one, okay? It’s just between the two of us.” Louis quirks an eyebrow and scoots close enough to him so that their thighs are touching.

“What is it?” He hands him a little white box with a blue satin bow tied around it and watches as Louis twists and turns it in his hands for a few moments before he slowly unties the ribbon and takes the top off of the box.

He freezes for a moment, looking at the gift with the tiniest amount of tears in his eyes. It’s a small black garter made entirely of lace, looped and twisted into an intricate pattern by his favorite seamstress. The part that will wrap around his thigh is made of a stretchy kind of silk that Harry hopes will be comfortable enough for him to wear daily, while the fluffy part around it is made of sheer material. In the center, tied by a bow, is a small silver H to signify the meaning of the gift.

Louis looks at it for a long while – and Harry can only assume that he’s taking in the entire meaning of what the present means. It’s the second closest thing to an engagement – and Harry’s heart pounds while he waits for Louis to either accept or reject his gift.

“This is so beautiful Harry – you’re so incredible.” He says after a moment, turning the material around in his hands. Harry can nearly see the thoughts churning through the other man’s head and it’s just a little stressful - but he’s still happy he finally did this. 

Finally taking that next step towards forever with Louis is more than what he could have asked for. He’s beyond drawn to the other man, and he wants to make that clear. He wants to show exactly how dedicated his is to this courtship and he has no clue how else he could possibly show it. “Will you put it on me?”

The question nearly takes Harry off guard, but a wide smile breaks across his face as soon as he processes it. Louis has not only accepted his offer of something so intimate - someting that will only be between them - but he’s asking him to put it on him as well. 

His heart flutters in his chest as he takes the material from Louis’ hand and watches as the other man strips out of his trousers. 

With a little pleased look on his face, Harry ties the garter around Louis’ thigh. They make eyecontact as soon as it’s there, and Louis is grinning widely. 

“It’s even more stunning when it’s on you.” Harry says softly, running his hand up the bare skin of Louis’ thigh before tracing around the patterns in the delicate lace. “You’re what makes it beautiful of course, though. It wouldn’t be the same without you.”

“It feels nice - to have this between us.” Louis says, sitting in Harry’s lap and straddling him. They spend most of the evening kissing softly, exchanging touches that aren’t at all innocent, until they’re forced to separate by the reality of Louis’ mother’s soon return. 

“I hope you know this is my promise to you, that I want to be with you for a long time to come.” Harry says as he’s getting ready to leave, placing one final kiss on Louis’ skin nearest the silver H. 

Louis lingers longer than he usually does when they share their goodbye hug, and Harry hopes that it means something deeper than he can feel. 

  
  


**⸎**

 

Weeks go on much the same, the same flow of love and happiness keeping Harry floating through life. Louis is by his side more often than not and everything is fitting in to place better than he’d ever thought it would. Nothing compares to the best nights on the balcony together with alcohol and shared kisses and little laughs and moments shared. It’s moments like tonight that keep him in his absolute best moods.

A soft breeze floats through the air, carrying with it the smell of the roses freshly planted on Harry’s patio. The night is dark but warm, comfortable enough for the two of them to sit outside without complaint. Billions of stars twinkle brightly above their heads alongside the moon, all of it casting just the slightest amount of light across the scene in front of them. He lights three candles, giving more light to their night time ritual before he sits back and opens the bottle of wine he’d saved for this exact occasion.

He pours each of them a glass, getting a soft thank you from Louis, making him smile. Thinking about how he got here makes him almost feel giddy with the happiness swirling around in his heart. Being here, next to his lovely husband, surrounded by the building blocks to a life well lived, he’s more than happy. He has yet to think of a word to describe the feelings he gets each day, each moment that he spends beside the love of his life.

The candles flicker in the wind, making the shadows dance across Louis’ skin, and Harry has to think for a moment about how much more beauty Louis holds within him than each and every star looking down upon them has. The stars shine brightly, yet they shine only in the darkness. Louis, he thinks, Louis shines at every moment, and brighter than any star ever could. He still remembers and holds close to his heart how he’d been told the same thing by the other man just less than a year ago, yet it resonates true for Louis, too.

“I love you,” Harry whispers softly, pressing his lips against the edge of Louis’ jawline. “I’m so blessed to have found you, to have you in my life.” This makes the smaller boy giggle, a grin spread across his face. “You make every day worth living, each moment worth experiencing.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, my love.” He says, the same sparkle in his eyes as the night Harry knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life at his side. “It’s me who is the lucky one. Who is beyond lucky to have found you, to be able to touch you, kiss you, and love you.”  They’re both quiet for a long while, and Harry lets himself sit happily in the silence. But it’s not long before Louis is speaking again, “Harry?”

“Yes, love?"

“Do you still want to marry me?” The hesitation in Louis’ voice makes Harry’s heart skip a beat, fear suddenly welling up inside of him.

“Of course I want to marry you. Is something wrong?”

“I just – I guess I was getting a little worried since you haven’t asked me to yet. That’s all. I just love you so much and want to marry you even more.” Harry kisses him again softly, the taste of the sweet alcohol on his breath.

They make love that night, the warm night air surrounding them with a billion stars shining above their heads. It’s a promise of forever that neither of them know will ever be broken, a promise of an eternity at each other’s side that they can always count on. It’s reassuring in the absolute best of ways and Harry wouldn’t trade it for the world.

**⸎**

 

The wedding is small; only their closest of family members show up and it’s everything Harry ever could have asked for. His mum and dad save a seat for Gemma - just because he’d asked them to - and it’s perfect. They have matching suits on - both just simple black with sleek white ties, and it’s full of white roses that Harry’s mum had specially ordered from their florist. 

“Moonlight drowns out most of the beauty of the night. Yet, the brighest of the stars shine through. Each day I look at you, each day I wake up beside you, I can’t help but think that you are the bright star that shone through the dark of my night. There are beauties in life that can outshine others, yet had I not found you, my sky - my heart, my life - wouldn’t be complete.” Harry says, holding Louis’ hands in front of everyone. He has tears in his eyes, threatening to spill over the more he talks about his love for Louis. “I love you so deeply, wholey, and entirely with every bit of my heart and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my days at your side.” 

“My mother used to tell me regularly that being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. It’s true in every way I can possibly imagine. I think you give me strength and courage every day just to be the truest form of myself I can be. You give me the courage to live fearlessly and love fully without the fear of rejection. You give me the strength to wake up every morning knowing that the day will end pleasantly. I know that you will continue to help me grow each and every day for the rest of my life and I can’t wait to experience that beside you.”

They share their kiss after that - sealing their bond to stay together forever. Harry can see his mum crying from the audience, and it makes him strangely happy. Even his father has a smile on his face, pushing away every thought and worry that he’d previously had about him not approving. He can feel all of the puzzle peices of his life slowly coming together, as if there hadn’t been a map laid out for the puzzle previously and now that there is, the pieces are coming together. 

He can see the big picture finally, and it all becomes even more clear each time he shares a kiss with his  _ husband.  _

 

As the ceremony comes to an end, everyone that is closest to them stays around and chats for a while. Liam and Niall were invited since the two of them had found a special place in Harry’s heart because of their impenetrable friendships, and having them there has only added to the entire experience. 

The happiest day of Harry’s life comes to an easy end with everyone around his dinner table, sharing an incredible meal over jokes, wine, and an entirely happy evening. 

  
  


Before long, winter returns, and with it comes a loss of motivation. He and Louis both spend much of their time lounging around the house and enjoying themselves, going out amongst the town only when they’re entirely bored, yet it’s still the happiest he’s ever been. 

The months have passed by easily and Harry only finds himself falling more and more in love with Louis each and every day. 

He’s more than half asleep, a gorggy dream of him and Louis laying in a bed of flowers filling his mind when he suddenly feels more awake. The bed creaks below his weight as he shifts, his arms wrapped tightly around Louis. The sky outside is still dark, but the shine of the moon comes through the glass of his window, illuminating the room slightly. Consciousness slowly comes to, but when it does, he realizes he smells smoke. He glances out the window from where he’s sat in his bed and the flames that are slowly crawling up the building close to his own make his heart skip a beat with terror.

It’s alarming and manages to wake him up the rest of the way in moments before he’s gently shaking Louis awake. “Louis, Lou, love, wake up. We need to go. We need to go, come on.” He takes a deep breath as Louis wakes slowly; normally he would love letting Louis wake up slowly beside him, letting themselves lay together in bed, but as his heart is pounding in his chest, he jumps out of bed. “Something’s on fire, we need to go, now.”

The look on Louis’ face says enough as he, too, gets out of bed quickly. Harry slowly throws a few of his more precious items into a rucksack – like Gemma’s old keepsakes that he couldn’t bare to lose – as well as other things that are valuable enough to save.

Liam comes running into the room, clearly in just as much of a panic as the two of them. “Get anything that you know needs to be saved and make sure you wake Niall.” He tells Liam sternly before he watches the other man run out of the room to go begin gathering things.

It’s frantic and all done mostly in a panic, but before long, the three of them are running out to the stables where Niall is already there, with three horses ready for them to go. “We may just have to go on foot.” The irish man says, “Horses are terrified of fire, sir.”

“Let’s go, then. Come with us, let’s go!” He says as the four of them together all start running. The water feels like the safest place to go – to his own boat where they can be safe from the flames and from anyone else trying to escape who could hurt them. He turns left, towards the water, when he feels Louis’ hand tug against his own, jerking him back. He turns, in shock, and Louis is turning the other way, shock on his face.

“Harry! My family! I have to – I have to go!” Those are the words he hears before he sees Louis running, running away from him and towards the flames that threaten to consume everything in their path. His heart is pounding and tears threaten to spill over in his eyes.

“Get the boat to the east docks!” He shouts to Liam as he runs in the opposite direction. Losing Louis would be losing everything. He can’t handle such a loss – such a heart break. He knows he couldn’t handle it, so with each step he takes he just tries to reassure himself that he won’t have to. Louis is smart enough to keep himself alive, and that’s the only thing keeping him going. He takes a breath, the smell of smoke engulfing the air around him, and then his legs are moving as he runs after Louis – after the only person he knows he’ll ever be able to love so deeply.

“Louis please wait!” He shouts into the street as he runs. Streams of people running rush past him, knocking into him as they flee to the boats. In just the span of a second, he’s knocked to the side and he loses his sight of Louis.

All he sees is a sea of bodies around him, running, screaming. All he hears is children crying and fathers shouting orders at their families. He doesn’t see Louis’ small frame or the wisps of his hair and he knows he could be gone in a moment, but he can’t give up.

One moment he was there, the next, gone.

Yet he pushes on, blindly running after him.

The stream of people running gets thinner as they get deeper into the city. The flames are stronger, surrounding everything and everywhere he looks. They’ve climbed up buildings, turning once familiar places into flaming infernos straight out of the depths of Hell. He shouts again, calls out Louis’ name, but there’s no answer. He runs down the street further towards the home he knows Louis’ family lives, and finally he finds him.

He’s standing there, staring at his own home as it’s eaten entirely by the flames. He has tears running down his face when Harry reaches him and takes a hold of his hand. “Louis, there’s nothing you can do about that now. Your family is smart. They got out; I’m sure of it. And if we want to find them, we have to get to the water!” He seems stunned, shocked and unable to speak, but when Harry pulls him, he comes easily. He hopes and prays as they continue running that Louis’ family is there somewhere.

A building topples down and blocks off the street that he ran down to follow Louis, the wood still aflame and only getting bigger as the flames catch on the dying winter grass near where it had fallen.  A gust of wind tosses the flames about and for a moment, all the two of them can do is watch, startled and stunned as the flames dance from building to building, destroying everything in their path.

He turns, Louis’ hand still in his own, and runs the opposite way. All he knows is he has to try – has to do anything he can to make sure there’s still life for the two of them to live. He’s not ready for this to end yet – not ready for the end of his life beside Louis. So, they run as fast as their legs will take them, the soles of their shoes echoing through the streets as they pound against the stone paved roads.

Louis’ family home is on the outskirts of central London, and as they run, they eventually get away from the flames igniting the buildings. But they don’t stop. Something inside of Harry tells him to keep going, to run and run and run as far as they can get away, to make sure that they’re going to be okay, that they’re going to find refuge.

They finally reach the east docks and the screams are fading into static around him. All he can see is Louis – all he can think about is getting them away to safety. All he can think about is how he would do anything to keep Louis by his side forever. Liam is sailing his boat right to the docks as they get there and Harry goes to get on, but Louis is looking back again.

“We can’t just take this all to ourselves, Harry.” It’s something he should have expected Louis to say with the kind heart he has, but it still makes him feel some kind of shock with all of the fear of death surrounding them. Yet, he will always listen to Louis, so he finds a small family with three young daughters and a mother.

“You four are welcome to come to my boat if you’d like. It will be safe, with my family and I.” The four of them look at him in a way he can’t even describe – but as they all walk towards the boat, everything finally feels fine all over again.

Only when breath finally comes back to his lungs and his legs feel wobbly does he pull Louis into a tight embrace. There are tears threatening to spill over his eyes that he can’t help – but they never come. Everyone is safe – Liam, Niall, Louis, and himself. They’re all safe – they all got out. And he’s still hopeful that they will find Louis’ family when they dock, too.

“Even if I’ve lost everything, I’m so glad I still have you.” The stars shine brightly above them as they hold each other, watching their city burn before their eyes. Harry never thought he’d ever call London his city ever again – but Louis reminded him that there wasn’t anything anywhere that could hold him down except love.

A slight breeze rocks the boat and Louis clutches on to him tighter. Harry lets his eyes fall shut for just a moment before he glances up to the sky above him. Surrounded by stars in the night, something he used to find terrifying, he thinks he’s finally found his place. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> “Moonlight drowns out all but the brightest stars.”  
> ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings  
> “Magic exists. Who can doubt it, when there are rainbows and wildflowers, the music of the wind and the silence of the stars? Anyone who has loved has been touched by magic. It is such a simple and such an extraordinary part of the lives we live.”  
> ― Nora Roberts
> 
> Thank you so much for reading – and if you _really_ enjoyed this story and want to support your local fanfic author, you can   
> [](https://ko-fi.com/A237HRB)
> 
>  
> 
> PS: I feel a little bad for making Liam, Niall, and Lottie kind of servants?! But I wasn't entirely sure how else to incorporate them into the story.


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